Marc

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 04:55:26 GMT

New name, old trend:

ambulnce_artist

Hey Wade, what's the sitch?

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 18:32:40 GMT

I'm no billboard, but CVS just put out two carts full of make-up marked down to $2.00 an item. Apparently it's on sale from $10-$20. This should promise to be tough competion to the Big Lots sale of '04.

What the hell? The only times I can think of updating are CVS sales. Gay.

Sand skaters beyotch. Good skim this Friday. Be there (Drew).

Does anyone read live journal anymore?

Fri, 14 Jan 2005 03:08:20 GMT

Good mood today. You'd know what I'm talking about if you've ever made two black guys argue over who's covering whitey while he's dishing out some of Larry Byrd's finest. I'm talking about the black tops at GT Bray, sucka*. After a few games of being put in my place, I pumped up my shoes, adjusted my head band, and made a name out of milk man. I did get packed a couple times, and got schooled by some guy who looked like DMX, but still an awesome night.

*not to be confused with "sucka fish".

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 17:17:37 GMT

Condoms are buy one 12 pack, get one FREE at CVS until Sunday. Just in case anyone is bringing in the New Year with a "bang".

Good God I'm awesome.

Agility Tests require you to be agile

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 18:39:15 GMT

Hey guys, hope everyone's weekend kicked ass. All of you back from college, welcome home.

Saturday morning I had an agility test for placement in the firefighter course in Sarasota. 80 students were there, only 28 are allowed in. No one dared to stand without their arms crossed. Small glances only to your opponents. No smiling. This is war.

10 at a time put on all the gear: Turnout pants, Jacket, helmet, and air-tank (40 lbs. combined). I was in the first bunch. I watched a few people go through it first, and I felt sorry for all of us. Everyone who didn't have to go until later got to sit and watch you at your most miserable. The big guys, who you assumed would hands down ace the test, were getting embarrassed like the rest of us. Hopefuls would just push themselves praying not to pass out. Of the first 8, three of them couldn't finish, one of them they almost brought out a stretcher for. I was a little more than nervous on my turn:

1. You're handed a 11-pound sledge hammer and expected to smash a 150 lb. beam along a 5 ft. track. The "beam" was 18in.x10in.x6in. and only moved about 1 inch everytime you hit it. You had to get it in 1:00 minute to pass. I got it in :38 seconds (struggling) and got an extra point for getting under :45 seconds. Every hit was harder than the last. I'm already fucking tired.

2. Climb a four story ladder. Not too bad, takes some more out of you though. Passed.

3. 2 1/2 in. charged hose. Pull it 100 feet, gets harder and harder as more hose un-rolls. Do it in :30 seconds. Barely passed. I am out of energy. Nothing left. 5 more things to do.

4. Drag a dummy that weighs 165 lbs. seventy-five feet. The worst part about this is that this is where everyone who had gone before me was drained. This is also where seventy cocky (cocksuckers) were watching you, hoping you quit/fail/puke/faint/die so they have less competition. You have :30 seconds. I tried to take this slow. It was a one-on-one with my concious trying to pass. After 50 feet, It was a one-on-one with God praying that I have the energy to stay on my feet. 75 ft. finally came.

5. No more people watching. Walk across a ladder in :10 seconds to test coordination. A small break.

6. Energy slightly came back. Carry a ladder 100 feet, hang it up, clap, take it back. Passed.

7. Carry a hose on your shoulder and walk up 3 flights of stairs, switch shoulders, walk back down. Do it in 1:30. Got my legs are sore. Extra point for doing it under 1:15.

8. Pull a 50 lb. hose up from the ground to the third story. Bring it back down. Barely pass. Finished.

Overall, it's graded on a scale of 100, the max being 104. I got my sheet back, and I did the dummy drag in 31 seconds. Fail. -15 points. Total score: 87.

Let me explain this: I missed a score of 102 by one fucking second. I was so pissed. No second tries. I still feel good that I got through it, and that I almost got in. I'm pretty sure that at least half of them will fail though. I'm also pretty sure that at least 30 will get over 100, so I didn't get in. Maybe I did, who knows. God I got my ass kicked. I can't to do this again.

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 13:29:31 GMT

I started at CVS yesterday. This is the first time I've had two jobs, and now I get a paycheck every Friday. That's dangerous. I spent most of my first day just thinking of stuff I could buy. Mostly thought about buying myself a bass cab, I've always used other people's, which is without a doubt skanky. I need to be in a band again. I need to go to fire school.

Okay, at Prine Elementary, the kids get out of school and come straight to the cafeteria for the after school program. There's a huge wall-sized window that looks out to the car riders pick up area. Yesterday, one of the cars started to smoke, so everyone's attention turned to some shit-out-of-luck guy and his crappy car. Two seconds later, the engine exploded. The hood popped up and everything oil touched was on fire. Kids screaming along side of faculty, running. 9/11 style. Another explosion. The fire carries back to half of the car. Half of this car is on fire, no exaggeration. Kids' faces are are pressed against the glass. Something stank like ass. The fire was about 4 or 5 feet high. Seriously made my day. The less favored Cedar Hammock responded to it. Either way, it brought a tear to my eye to see some firefighters getting some action.

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 23:42:15 GMT

Today is a day worth celebrating, a day I've wanted to come for about a year. When it comes to the bench, I am prey to jocks' sarcasm because of my lack of skills to put up some iron.

Translation: I suck at bench-press.

The biggest plate you can put on one side of the bar weighs 45 lbs, sometimes called a "Cadi" because it's twenty inches in diameter, like the rims of a delicious ride. For as long as I've been lifting, it's been a personal goal to put one "Cadi" on each side, and lift it ten times. I couldn't even do it once before summer, but today I was a champion. I put it up ten times, and then jumped up and started yelling like...a jock. Ladies, this isn't a story to impress, because that is only a sad 135 lbs. Like I said, a personal goal was accomplished today, so my day kicked ass.

-Marc

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 13:20:04 GMT

Here's a confidence booster:

What Makes You Sexy? by eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part Is	Nothing
Special Talents Are	Absolutely Nothing

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Even better, try redoing this and capitalize the M. I think that one is more of a treat.

zwei.nuenachtdrei

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 15:04:07 GMT

2.983
2.983
2.983
2.983
2.983

Bright Futures thinks it's so cool.

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 02:32:41 GMT

Holy Goodness, that sucks Abrye.

I just got back from the Y, and I didn't just work out. I checked out the carpeted gym I always hear about. Some kids were using half of it to play soccer, and I felt like playing basketball. I ended playing for almost two hours. I played freshman year, but that was just dipping my toes into it. Today was intense. Whooped some guy in his mid twenties at '21', messed around with dribbling skills, and made 24 free throws (in a row, beyotch). I want to join a league, anyone know of any local leagues that 18 year olds can play in? I'd like to pick this back up.

-Marc

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 02:32:51 GMT

Fire school requirements are coming up.

Physical Qualification and Entrance Evaluation

1. Forcible Entry Evolution:
Employing a Forcible Entry Simulator, and with an 11½ pound (dead-blow) shot hammer provided, drive a beam five feet by striking the end of the beam.

2. Sit-Ups:
Forty-five bent knee sit-ups within two minutes.

3. Push-Ups:
Twenty-five push-ups (military style) within two minutes.

4. Carry Skill:
Remove a twenty-four (24) foot extension ladder from a set of mounting brackets 5½ feet high. Carry the ladder 100 feet and place the ladder back onto the mounting brackets.

5. Drag Skill:
Drag two sections of 2½ inch hose, coupled together, one hundred yards. Turn around and drag the hose back to the starting point.

6. Run Skill:
Run one and one half (1.5) miles in 15 minutes or less.

1. I've never done this, but I've been shown what it is, and proper form
2. Today I tested it, and did 45 sit-ups in 1 minute 10 sec.
3. About a week ago, I got 25 push-ups done in, I think 33 seconds
4. Carried an aluminum ladder at the fire station, didn't seem like too much of a problem
5. I've never dragged it that far, but I've heaved some hose around, and it's not very easy
6. Did a mile today in 7:40, but I couldn't do two more laps...I need to get at least 6 laps done.

The physical test is in a little over a month, and I am begging for some action (You bet your ass that's what she said). I need to get the 'running skill' comfortable before I stay the night in Ocala. Some of this stuff seems easy, but I think it's just to get the fat kids away. I was told that no other fire school in Florida has a physical test you have to pass to get in. This is going to be a true Rudy story.

Bet you can't read just one

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 20:58:45 GMT

TOP 10 CRIMINALS:

RUNNER-UP #9

Yankton, South Dakota: A woman was arrested at her step son's Boy Scout meeting. While watching a policeman demonstrate his drug dog's ability, the dog found a bag of grass in her purse.

RUNNER-UP #8

Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

RUNNER-UP #7

A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

RUNNER-UP #6

San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

RUNNER-UP #5

From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture...of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine.

RUNNER-UP #4

Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.

RUNNER-UP #3

Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.

RUNNER-UP #2

Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

RUNNER-UP #1

Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

THE WINNER!

A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued....and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

Everyone needs to hurry up and get home

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 12:23:06 GMT

Good weekend in Orlando. Everyone else will write about it. The highlight was the "secret level" racquetball game complete with the "socket shot" and "lights out slam". Rematch on our turf.

I saw Team America: World Police last night, and I'm pretty speechless. Just get over your fear of marionettes and you'll be blown away. If you don't like it, come to me. I'll hook you up with the $7.50.

-Duece

Wed, 13 Oct 2004 16:27:26 GMT

The idea you wish you had:

Everyone is giving in to stupid shows like the OC, One Tree Hill, and Laguana Beach. Big money: Put a show on livejournal. Have six made-up characters keep their own "journal", and comment on each others. Anyone can add the six names to their list, and everytime they check their friend's journals, they'll be "reading" the show. F'n gorgeous. All-star cast:

-Petunia
-Juanita
-Ricardo
-Edwardo
-Ranaldo
-Stan

You're just jealous.

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 22:10:00 GMT

Not directed towards Alex Berkun, but:

DIRECT QUOTES FROM DEBATE LAST NIGHT

Bush: "Listen to me now, as long as I am president, THERE WILL BE NO DRAFT."

Kerry: "We're going to need at least 40,000 more troops on active duty in our military"

Is Kerry planning a draft?

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 05:37:02 GMT

Weekend retrospect:

-Ate at Carabba's for the first time
-Played racquetball with Danny with our new racquets at Miller
-Saw Shaun of the Dead (Worth a shot)
-Had a long-time-no-see talk with Mr. Jacobs
-Watched The Best of Will Ferrell 2/Conan 10th Anniversary special
-Drove around with Danny and lit some fireworks we found in the garage
-Fight club with Jessbabe
-Got my official application packet for FSFC

Ato's Polynesian Paradise is gone. That sucks.

Rest in peace $3.00 Hawaiian Breakfast...

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 05:16:36 GMT

12:30 a.m.

Danny and I went to CVS, bought sodas, talked about things, and then played racquetball against the side of the building. Fuck the OC. Bradenton rocks.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 22:28:24 GMT

Are you seeing this?!

ARE YOU SEEING THIS FREAKING ICON?!?!
That's how Big Poppa Duncan is feeling.

Message on answering machine at 1:30 today:

"Hello Marc, this is Richard Ruben, the dean of Florida State Fire College. I'm just returning your phone call to let you know that you have been accepted and enrolled for the January course. Give me a call back to discuss the application."

Bam! I'm going to be dancing like this all fucking day, so don't even try to stop me.

Hooh! Dagh! Doesn't matter if you're black or...DAGH...HEE-hee!

-Marc

Sealab rocks

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 06:30:52 GMT

Poor sleeping habits, now adopted:

Nap from 8:00 pm until 12:00-12:30 am
Stay up all night: online (Thanks for staying up, J.Ro), cleaning, playing bass
Go to work at 6:00 am, get home at 8:00 am
Sleep until 1:30 pm, then work again 'til 6:00 pm
Come home tired, crash, repeat.

I have what seems to be two 12-hour days. I'm sure this isn't healthy, and plus, I have no oppurtunity to hang out with people at night, I'm just too damn tired. I'm probably going to post again today, because damnit, *Puts foot down* Florida State Fire College is about to give this kid some answers.

If you knew any of these, you're a good friend of mine:

*I was in a car-seat until I was about 8-years-old
*I am mesmerised by anything that has to do with a ball and contraption
*I have a large birth-mark on my thigh
*I played freshman basketball, and got my name in the paper once

We regret to inform you

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 13:08:31 GMT

This morning, I'm so nervous:

I have to stay up for a few more minutes, so I can give the dean of the fire school a call. We're supposed to find out in September if we got in for the month of January. I haven't got a letter...yet. I'll see what the deal is. I'm not waiting another three months. Wish me luck.

Jess- Thanks for having me over last night, I had fun.

Cinco- We should stop fighting, I'm sorry for whatever I did.

I really want to show you guys pictures of the kids at Prine, but at a child sexual abuse meeting we all had to attend, they said be cautious of any counselor who has pictures of the any of them. Looks like you guys might be out of luck. Maybe she'll slide for a group picture.

Of all of us naked.

Just kidding. But seriously, without pants.

-Marc

Slurpees suck again

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 22:04:45 GMT

Public beach really, really sucks. Nobody talks to anyone, girls just walk around hoping to be noticed, and guys just skimboard...hoping to be noticed.

Public + e = Pub lice beach

Driving home, I gave into a craze that I've never been into. My brother and I stopped into 7-11 and got a slurpee. I've always hated slurpees, but we were thirsty and the cream and starburst one sounded awesome. They didn't have it. Instead we got the Livewire one and I got sick. Slurpees suck again.

4 pet-peeves:

1. People who ask friends for gas money/buy other shit with it.
2. When people put themselves down for a compliment.
3. People who sign off in an argument when you're trying to say something.
4. The phrase, "He thinks he's so cool".

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 07:56:26 GMT

Haven't updated, but I was told I have to. I saw Cool Hand Luke last night, and they were really awesome (Cool Hand Luke is the name of a movie, and a band. I saw the band.) I just got stood up by Burkholder, he told me to meet him at 7-11 for a CD, and he didn't show. Not cool.

Burkholder: Meet me at the 9th hole at 9. It's a secret of the pros.

-Marc

Hey junior, you going that way?

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 08:04:19 GMT

Today was special. I've heard many warnings never to pick someone up who's asking for a ride. I was in a good mood today, so when a middle aged, leather-skined drunk asked me for a ride to Publix, I was more than cheerful for the dead-beat douchebag. En Route to Westgate Plaza, I learned that his name was Michael, and that if he was Spanish, I'd have to call him Miguel. Clearly this was an intelligent man. We passed the Walgreens on 43rd, and he told me that once upon a time he got his ass whooped in the parking lot. Total Damage: Indent in top of the skull, shattered teeth. He told me that it cost him $10,000 to fix his pearlies. I was flashed a ten-figure smile, and was unimpressed. As I was dropping him off, he left me with his mis-hapes as a teenager. He joined the military at 17 and got kicked out when he was 19 for possesion of 3 lbs. of Marijuana. He flipped a middle finger to the sky and shouted to the government that he'll smoke until he dies. That takes courage, Michael. I dropped him off and thanked him for his bullshit stories. I suggest that everyone do this good deed. Actually, I take that back. That bastard probably stole something from me.

-Marc

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 00:51:39 GMT

*Loud exhale of masculinity*

I just worked out today for the first time in 2 months, and I was ready to challenge Chris Brooks to the bench. It feels so good to be so sore. I saw an old buddy, Seth Turner, and he got pretty buff! It got me excited. It's Dunc's turn.

A little confusion with the 'C the F' game this weekend. It seems that people who want to come can't because they work, or are busy with other Saturday activities.I just wanted to get everyone with a time and place so I can see who's available, and had actually intended on rescheduling. I also thought that although I grew up with the open-field-able-to-see-everything games, some people grew up playing the in-the-woods-hide-the-flag-20-minute-long games. This may be an oppurtunity to relocate to the 17 Ave N.W. (Paintball field) for some intense play. That or G.T. Bray. Comment to vote which field.

I'm thinking to reschedule to Sunday. Maybe about 1 or so. Also comment.

-Marc

Capture the Flag update

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 22:30:23 GMT

I've been looking around on the internet and apparently there's a Capture the Flag official site that's trying to get everyone to start playing the game nationwide professionally. Not why I started it though:

Be at: G.T. Bray football field (Wildcats)
What day: Saturday, September 11
What time: 3:30 or 4:00 p.m.
Bring: Tennis shoes and harsh slander

GET THE FLAG!®

*Not actual registered slogan